Now it gets REALLY wierd!

Last night I went out to a really nice dinner with my husband, kids and a friend visiting from out of town. Had a lovely evening, great dinner and came home and went to bed. The phone rang about 10:30, which startled me because it never rings that late with anything but bad news. My sister was on the phone and told me that our Dad had died. I didn't feel anything. It is really strange. I haven't seen him since I was 16, and haven't spoken to him since I was in my late 20's. As a teenager, I used to wish that he was dead, because then I could stop hoping he would stop drinking and be a good parent. I don't think that he could have been a good parent even sober. He was incredibly limited and raised by people that were more limited than he was. He was so ill-equipped to marry and raise children that it is astonishing. The best thing that happened to us is that he was gone. I sort of feel bad that I don't feel bad! I grieved the father of my early years as a young woman. I felt pity for him. My life has been so full of people that care for me and have loved me, that I stopped looking for it in those that couldn't. I am grateful for those people and for the parents that I have. I know in my heart and to the tips of my toes, that my family are the ones who chose to be there, who love me when it isn't easy and love me when it is.